Herh!! You think I typed the title wrong, eh? Be there and be wasting your own time. If you haven’t been to Ghana and heard us speak, shut up and suffer!! Too Known!! Honour roll.
Ahaa, as I was saying, I’m a two-week old Takoradi-born, thank you very much for the applause. And as you know, me dierr I won’t be there and hear people say crap in Ghanaian language and leave them scot-free, no way!! So the first thing I hear when I get here is some guy emceeing a show and goes like, “Yes, so let’s give Hannah to whom Hannah is due”. Please read that again and make sure that this time, the H is very heavy. Hhannah!! Ahaa, that’s right. I clapped the loudest for him in that place, eaven (for Heaven) knows best!! Oops, there the guy goes again. After the programme, someone screamed his name out and I realized that ahh, he was Ga. That settled it for me!!!
Ok so we hall know that some Gas ave a beef with their H. It goes beyond words, mehn! They miss the H where it should be and use it when they don’t need it! So we were in church the other day when, just before offertory, I had taken my wallet and taken out a crisp note as my offering to the Lord, after all, He has been faithful. So, in the pious midst of holy brethren, all faces lit up like sanctimonious angels, imagine my utter shame when I got up and loudly dropped a 5pesewa coin..it just rolled out of my pocket…. I was like “Shoot!!, that was not me, I promise. That’s not what I was going to give. I never…” But who will hear?? The coin had done its business, lying there on the floor right next to me, accusing me loudly of ingratitude!!! Certainly, I could give more than that…and God was worth more, you see! It robbed me of the confidence to pick it up, even. After church, I looked in the place where it had fallen and lo and behold, it was gone. Mysteries.
That reminds me…some pretty little girl came to give her testimony and said hasn’t the Good Lord done so much for her? Hey lady, He has done for us all, okay? And she went on about how just a week ago, she had a headache, and hadn’t it been the devil and his co-workers who had come to take her head away? “They were pulling my head while my body was sitting there!” Hey, no laughing!! This is serious business! So she made frantic calls to her Christian friends and they all came to pull against the devil, a mighty tug of war it was until her head was finally let free. Halleluyah! Amen. One dude was so excited about this apparent victory that he said from now on, no one should listen to the devil when he speaks because lying is his mother tongue and that we all will be missing the truth if we go playing with the devil. Acknowledged very much!
There is an old school Twi praise song that translates that If the devil worries me I’ll give him canes, hiding behind the Lord, I’ll give him canes. Crrrrap!! After the testimony time, come see young people on fire for the Lord, giving the devil his worse beating with careless abandon, uncaring what the circumstances be. Oh, I love these young people.
So, I’m settling into Takoradi very well and happy that far away on this coast we can still find Ga kenkey straddled along the best boutiques in town. We are enjoying Ghana here with the best Ga accent you can find…somebody say a mighty aalleluyah…uh erm…cough..cough.