Tag Archives: Ga

HANNAH UNTO WHOM HANNAH IS DUE

Herh!! You think I typed the title wrong, eh? Be there and be wasting your own time. If you haven’t been to Ghana and heard us speak, shut up and suffer!! Too Known!! Honour roll.

Ahaa, as I was saying, I’m a two-week old Takoradi-born, thank you very much for the applause. And as you know, me dierr I won’t be there and hear people say crap in Ghanaian language and leave them scot-free, no way!! So the first thing I hear when I get here is some guy emceeing a show and goes like, “Yes, so let’s give Hannah to whom Hannah is due”. Please read that again and make sure that this time, the H is very heavy. Hhannah!! Ahaa, that’s right. I clapped the loudest for him in that place, eaven (for Heaven) knows best!! Oops, there the guy goes again. After the programme, someone screamed his name out and I realized that ahh, he was Ga. That settled it for me!!!

Ok so we hall know that some Gas ave a beef with their H. It goes beyond words, mehn! They miss the H where it should be and use it when they don’t need it! So we were in church the other day when, just before offertory, I had taken my wallet and taken out a crisp note as my offering to the Lord, after all, He has been faithful. So, in the pious midst of holy brethren, all faces lit up like sanctimonious angels, imagine my utter shame when I got up and loudly dropped a 5pesewa coin..it just rolled out of my pocket…. I was like “Shoot!!, that was not me, I promise. That’s not what I was going to give. I never…” But who will hear?? The coin had done its business, lying there on the floor right next to me, accusing me loudly of ingratitude!!! Certainly, I could give more than that…and God was worth more, you see! It robbed me of the confidence to pick it up, even. After church, I looked in the place where it had fallen and lo and behold, it was gone. Mysteries.

That reminds me…some pretty little girl came to give her testimony and said hasn’t the Good Lord done so much for her? Hey lady, He has done for us all, okay? And she went on about how just a week ago, she had a headache, and hadn’t it been the devil and his co-workers who had come to take her head away? “They were pulling my head while my body was sitting there!” Hey, no laughing!! This is serious business! So she made frantic calls to her Christian friends and they all came to pull against the devil, a mighty tug of war it was until her head was finally let free. Halleluyah! Amen. One dude was so excited about this apparent victory that he said from now on, no one should listen to the devil when he speaks because lying is his mother tongue and that we all will be missing the truth if we go playing with the devil. Acknowledged very much!

There is an old school Twi praise song that translates that If the devil worries me I’ll give him canes, hiding behind the Lord, I’ll give him canes. Crrrrap!! After the testimony time, come see young people on fire for the Lord, giving the devil his worse beating with careless abandon, uncaring what the circumstances be. Oh, I love these young people.
So, I’m settling into Takoradi very well and happy that far away on this coast we can still find Ga kenkey straddled along the best boutiques in town. We are enjoying Ghana here with the best Ga accent you can find…somebody say a mighty aalleluyah…uh erm…cough..cough.

TWO FISTS, TWO CORNERS AND ACCRA IS READY FOR ACTION YEAR

No oo! It’s not even what you’re thinking. Granted, this year is action year, ok.

Over here in Ghana, we greet ourselves so much every time of the day and that’s good. Before the Christmas break, I met a pretty African-American lady who insisted her name is Yenbere. It’s not Jamaican. It’s Akan for “Our time.” I think it was influenced by the World Cup. Very nice lady who kept going on and on about how Ghana is a nice place with nice people and we don’t even know it. I walked beside her listening to all her goings-on, smiling to myself. We don’t know it?? She hasn’t even been to Nima before to warrant what she’s saying. I just think those people love Ghana more than any other people alive.

Over the holidays, my little cousin was poking his new toy into the cell phone mouthpiece in order to show it to his gran on the other side. Oh, forgive him…he’s only two. But that’s the beauty of innocence. He couldn’t believe that the phone doesn’t see. And when everyone tried to explain it to him, here he goes bawling so loud you’ll think we ought to be taking instructions from him instead.

I was going to the café the last time when I overheard two people barking at each other on the top of their voices. Ok, I don’t speak Ga very well so I had little idea what they were talking about but the man was holding a huge spade and at every word, he will wave it threateningly at the woman standing across the street on the other end of the conversation. I mean, this is serious!! Why isn’t there a crowd?? Somebody should stop them before it gets any worse. But I decided to mind my own business like everyone else and probably watch from a safe distance. So there I go.

After a few more minutes of supposedly heated exchange, the two burst into laughter. No, true!! How could they just make up so easy? I was confused. That was when I realised that all along, they weren’t arguing. Not at all!! I had experienced the proverbial weight of the Ga language in all its majesty and I didn’t even have to pay for it, thank you very much. I felt foolish but I was amused too. For free.

Two weeks ago, fuel prices went up. That was a beautiful showpiece there at all trotro stations. See drivers immediately jump at the chance to double their charges and make good banter among them about how business is booming. But in Ghana, we have rules with fuel increases and they usually go like this: Increase fuel prices, transport fares go up, drivers and their mates exchange a few blows for dear life with confused passengers and then some kind of consensus is reached. Then everybody is happy.

So, last week, we got to the “exchange blows” part when some taxi driver dropped his passenger friend off at Kanda beside TV3. Oh, did I say friend?? It wasn’t funny at all. Come and see grown men heckling each other over 10pesewas!! Screams of “You will pay” and “I won’t pay” were spread all over listening eardrums, enough to make newspaper headlines embarrassed and look incompetent. Two grown men!! It took the counsel of onlookers to plead the two men apart and that wasn’t done after chapters and chapters of cursing too. They hadn’t had enough. I bet you, if that young man needs a taxi for an interview he is late for, he better walk if that driver is the only he can find. Period. After all, what did it mean when the driver screamed his last “Neeext time” as the crowd dispersed??

Ok, over the last two weeks, I started this new blog on African poetry and boy, am I loving it!! So check that one out too and leave a comment for me, eh?? Oh, stop kidding and be kind. We’ll keep poking our noses into Ghanaian people’s cooking pots over here and be doing serious things on that other page, or?? Thank you, thank you.