So today is the day before the end of the world!! How simple!
People have a knack for making things up paa!! I have been thinking that maybe when today comes, I shall write my last post for the people who have sold their stuff, packed the rest, updated their wills and held their last family meetings in the hope that the stubborn ones who will be left behind when the rapture occurs will not be quarrelling over property. I intend to leave them something to read too, to kill their boredom if they wake up in the morning and realise that the woman who runs the joint at the street corner just suddenly disappeared and her daughters are too lazy to keep the family business running. So much for the boys’ favourite hang-out!
So this morning, I went for a walk and saw a woman hurrying to someplace only heaven knows. She was dressed covered and looked so much in a haste that you’ll bet she knew something about the whole end-of-the-world conspiracy. I greeted her like every good Ghanaian boy will do. She stopped, blank-faced, and it took forever for her to just notice and respond. I walked past her anyway and went on to minding my own business. If people will only now remember that the many wasted days in the past will be accounted for just tomorrow, they will not have left things to the last minute before getting confused over a simple Good Morning. This morning was nothing god for her and she made me know that.
At work today, peeps will be talking about tomorrow and cursing the board for not quickly approving that long-standing salary increment they mentioned only yesterday. Then boys can blow some fast cash before judgement too, eh? I thought the back-bencher life of boys sitting in the last rows of lectures and passing comments about this or that only ended in the university. Here we were at work yesterday when a certain bank sent two missionaries to come and preach the righteousness of their new credit facility to staff who wanted to probably take loans before the end of the world. One regular guy and another very pretty, high-heel adorning, black and pink attire prettified, Slerch or other designer spectacles displaying, cat-woman of a beauty. Immediately they walked into the conference room, an unusual silence crept over the place. The type that can make a lady short on her supply of confidence just take an overdose of and stumble upon. And we were all guys in there. They were introduced and the guy just took the mike and kept blurting the benefits of the loan away, the poor guy. Nobody heard him. Immediately the young engineers at the back realised that he had finished the presentation (and no one had any questions for him, by the way), they screamed at him to give the mike to the lady to have the last words. By force!! She was stunned!!
So she steps up, takes the platform and sweetly sings in a lullaby of a voice, the extra benefits of the loan. In a third of the time spent by the dude. Come and see boys!! Now, the questions were flowing, with many promising that they will surely take this loan for kingdom come and was there ever any loan with terms and conditions better than this one?? And the woe!! When the moderator finally took the mike and said the meeting was formally over and that the bank people will hang around for all the personal questions people had to ask, wasn’t there immediately a queue to get to the front to ask as many ‘personal’ questions as boys could think up before it got to their turn?? Haha, and judgement day was only two days away, little shameless flirts!!
So, I’ll see those men at the town hang-out playing draught for the last when I get back from work. I guess lunch should taste extra special from the kitchen today and the lady should serve everyone a ladle more than she normally does. After all, it can win her some points to take her to heaven too and probably if she still does not make the cut-off point because of some nocturnal behaviour nobody knows of, the dudes who get to heaven can put in a word or two to the Master in her favour, don’t you see? Some wonderful recommendation that will be, eh? It’s time for work!! Get ready for the end of the world…put on your best apparel and be extra nice today, who knows?? You may be called early to come and usher the rest of us in and probably serve the food at our table in heaven. Please, I will be the guy in the corner with the blue face towel, so serve me well, eh? Thank you very much.