GHANA’S NEXT PRESIDENT?!?!


Ei, people, I’m in Akosombo this morning to fix my PC. Immediately I alighted, some young man walked up and gave me a handbill advertising some president wannabe. In 2010. For 2012. I was interested so I decided to read his pledges. He’s a fine man too, you know…some of the things Ghanaians look out for.

So, this man says he will give us 0% graduate unemployment. Okay!!

Then, GHC 20 Child benefit every month. Just for being a child. Okay!!

GHC 50 unemployment benefit a month. Now, I’m starting to sing the national anthem.

I’m soooo beginning to get interested. I flip the bill over and he’s running independent. I say Halleluyah!!

Then I see, “minimum wage from GHC 1.00 per hour.” Ebei!! Which world is he living in? By 2012? He can’t can’t can’t can’t be serious. I mean, it is not impossible but this will not convince anybody for 2012. So I start to laugh until I see…..

“Assist private sector with financing to start-up at least 1000 companies yearly.”

How I laughed?!!!

Seriously, I think he doesn’t have a campaign team. So, right from here, I’m going to visit his website and put in my application for the first job that he will NEED to create. “Senior Campaign Strategist, Propaganda Policy Manager, General Secretary and Running Mate” all rolled into one. How about that, eh?

That reminds me. The other day, when I was coming from Kumasi, I sat in a taxi along the way where the driver was a pleasant fellow who spoke flawless, impeccable English and who took the most part of the journey educating a frustrated passenger on the necessities of driving within speed limits and keeping to the road regulations. He went on and on about careful, defensive and cautious driving that put the heat into our passenger’s head. As for me, I turned my head the other way and smiled the whole journey through. I had on me exactly how much the fare was so I could not ask him to keep the change when I alighted. He made my day, I tell you.

So, if you see taxi driver with registration number GT 234 N anywhere on a handbill running for any post in this country, give me a call. He should be president.

I was driving around Asokwa on the day Hearts beat Kotoko two weeks ago. You see, we all know that the Porcupines wear red. When you watch the match on TV, you see a sea of red fanatics screaming it all away for their team. They look so disciplined.

So imagine my utter shock when I noticed, while driving past the returning fans, that most of them were wearing Close-Up toothpaste T-shirts? Aaba!!! And some also wore Vodafone promotional shirts and red embossed funeral souvenirs, with several Agya this and Maame that, boldly printed on them. Ei, Ghanafo!!!

So, I think we really have to listen to this man who wants to give us all one Ghana cedi per hour as minimum wage oo. Not because it is also red but just maybe, it may help to show our love for our favourite teams better, don’t you think? (I’m doing well at campaign already, eh?)

Yoo!! So let’s get ourselves ready when the political rallies start again. That will be a blogger’s paradise to find people to make us  all laugh. I bet you, at least one of them is bound to say that he will send a Ghanaian to the moon in his first 100 days. Please, start making your CVs ready….and form the queues nicely, thank you. It can be only one person.

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6 thoughts on “GHANA’S NEXT PRESIDENT?!?!

  1. As always, Dela, quintessential. I myself would endorse the taxi driver, and I must say I’ve met my fair share of them; above fifty, generally, maybe they should form a party. They know the country, they already carry the masses, and unlike can be said for today’s politicians, you really don’t know which way they’re going to turn, but more than anyone else, they know the right road to put us on. As for a Cedi an hour, well…

  2. Ei, people, if I mention the man’s name, I may have pressed the ‘fear and panic’ button. It looks like you guys are bold paa oo! And Agana, yes, you know them. He looked above fifty. They must form a party. MUST. Because in a day, their party members would have crossed the entire mass of the Motherland. How exactly will they name it?

  3. He had my vote till I heard the song on his website…lol. He can’t be real though, unless he’s got all the money for his projects stashed in a hole somewhere. We need an independent candidate, but this isn’t the guy…

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